Gaining Actual Perspective on “Failure”
Hello loves, currently writing from my bed with my cat laying on my shoulder. We’re cozy. Today we wanna talk to y’all about failure.
I started Authenticity Remastered a month ago. I’ve done a lot: nearly finished my website, gotten my LLC filing & finances in order, refined my Team Burnout offer, & much more.
However, every time I remember that I don’t have a client yet, everytime I open my email to no new news, a completely overwhelming feeling of failure sweeps over me and stops my progress, excitement, & hopefulness in its tracks.
Now, quick pause — my brand literally has authenticity in the title. I signed up for being this vulnerable about the entrepreneurial process when I filed that name. Just laughing at myself, bc this, too, feels a bit scary. Anyways:
When these fears overwhelmed me this morning, I decided to trace my fear of failure, & it’s outcome, to the end. “Well, if I don’t get a client, then this business won’t take off. I’ll have to get a job instead, & if that happens then I’ll probs give up altogether on creating a life I’m passionate about.”
My deeper fear wasn’t so much that my business would fail, but that I’d give up on myself & my growth.
Understanding the deeper, thematic fears which underlie our perceptions of failure can be extremely helpful in gaining power over those overwhelming feelings of “I’ll never be enough” & “This will never work out,” that we buy into when we start feeling like failures.
So today, when I had to recognize my fear of failing & find a way through it, I used the following structure, which I think could be helpful for others, too:
1. What am I currently afraid of failing at?
2. What is the worst case scenario of this failure materializing, & what would that say about me? (Be gentle with yourself thru this one)
3. What skills, traits, experiences & support do I have that would actually make the answer to untrue?
With question 3, I realized that I’m actually tenacious as hell AND genuinely love personal development. So, even if AuRem failed, I most likely wouldn’t give up on myself as a person & stop growing altogether. That gave me sustained calm today, & I hope it can for you, too 🍃
